The apartment Steve and I were
supposed to move into had not yet been vacated by its previous tenant. Therefore, we were temporarily put up in a
cheap hotel, each of us given our own room in which to unwind from the long day
and begin to adjust to the time difference.
I was exhausted, predominantly from jet lag. All I wanted to do was go to sleep, but it
was still early as indicated by the sun which was still strong enough to light
up my room even with the blinds drawn.
“If you go to bed now, you’ll be up
in the middle of the night,” Steve warned.
“And that will only make it more difficult to adjust to the time
difference.” He was right, there was no
logical way to refute him. But my
eyelids were not cooperating and I knew that once my body hit the bed I’d be
out before I could even count five sheep.
“But I’m tired now,” fatigue slurred
my words.
“You must be hungry as well,” he
countered and I knew he wasn’t going to give in and just let me retire for the
evening. “You’ve hardly eaten anything
all day.” He was right about that too
and an hour or two ago I’d have ravenously fallen upon any food handed to me,
but at that moment my desire for sleep overwhelmed my desire to eat.
“Steve, please, I just want to go to
bed.”
“There won’t be anything open at two
o’clock when you wake up hungry and can’t go back to sleep.”
“Fine, I’ll go to dinner with you,”
I agreed in a wave of exasperation. “But
I can’t promise I’ll be good company.” I
followed him out through the hotel and into the loud city streets. “Where do you want to go?”
He shrugged, a cloud of confusion on
his face but he brushed it aside as if it were no concern. “We’ll find something,” his words sounded
more confident than his tone.
Neither of us had any idea where to
go, nor did we have the foggiest idea how to read the signs that graced every
building and store. Instead of words,
when I stared at the signs, all I saw where shapes that meant absolutely
nothing to me. I was tired and the last
thing I wanted to do was guess at what might be behind each door we walked
passed. And after walking several
blocks, peering in doors here and there to see if they might be a restaurant, I
was seized by a level of frustration I had never before experienced. Not being able to read really sucked. Forget the fact that I loved books and hardly
ever went anywhere without one, this was reading at its most basic level and I
couldn’t do it. I couldn’t decipher the
letters needed to locate a place to eat.
How on earth, I wondered, did people survive their lives without
mastering this vital skill? I learned to read when I was still a small
child and have only vague memories of the process. When I couldn’t read I was still too young
for it to matter. My parents were my
guides. However, once I got to school
reading became a major part of my life. I grew up being able to find my way
around based on the words that surrounded me.
Until that movement, wandering lost and confused in Seoul, I never
realized how greatly I took reading for granted. All we wanted was something to eat, it was a
small desire, but one that seemed impossible to fulfill because for the first
time in our adult lives we were illiterate.
And then we passed a Denny’s and my
heart began to sing. The sign was in
English – yay! The food would be
recognizable – double yay! I had eaten
at Denny’s when I was a kid and my parents had taken us to Disney World. I remembered hating their tomato sauce
because it was too salty, so salty in fact that I woke up several times
throughout the night desperate for something to drink. But a salty meal seemed to suit me just fine
in Korea. I would take it just so I
could sit down, eat and then go to bed.
“Where are you going?” Steve asked
as I stepped towards the door.
“Aren’t you hungry?”
“We can’t eat there,” he scoffed at
me with a look of disgust on his face.
“Why not?” It was a better option
than anything he had come up with and as the smell of food wafted out of the
windows my stomach began to rumble.
“Because we’re in Korea?” He said
looking down his nose as if the restaurant was contaminated.
“I bet Koreans eat here,” I opened
the door and sure enough the tables were full and I didn’t see a single white
face.
“I didn’t travel half way around the
world to eat familiar food,” Steve put his hand over mine and gently removed it
from the door. “We have to eat Korean
food.”
“Fine,” I fell into step behind him
as he searched for a more suitable place to fill our stomachs.
I don’t remember how much longer we walked,
long enough that I was cranky by the time Steve essentially fell into a
restaurant. The damp oily smell made me
sick. I held my breath wondering how I
would survive twelve months of restaurants that smelled like this. Now, I look back and can only chuckle at how
much Korea changed me. The changes were
deep and plentiful and my love of sesame oil – both the taste and smell of it -
is but a small change that overcame me while I was living there. Today, the
smell of sesame oil – like the taste of Nestle’s canned coffee – brings back
such wonderful memories. This one
included. Unlike Denny’s the place was
empty, not a single soul sitting anywhere.
The man and women – we assumed, husband and wife – who ran the
restaurant stared at us when we walked in.
Their stares, persistent and harsh, made me uncomfortable. It would take at least six months before I
grew accustomed to people staring at me simply because I looked different. Yes, in less than an hour I had gotten a
lesson in what it was like to be illiterate and another in what it was like to
be a minority, to stand out simply because of the color or your skin and the
shape of your eyes. I may have learned a
lot in school, but I was quickly learning that school left a lot untaught.
Had I been alone, the glare of the
couple would have sent me straight back out into the street, but Steve sat down
a table near the back. Two minutes
later, the woman approached and handed us menus. I looked down and wanted to cry. Nothing was in English. How were we ever
going to select something to eat when we didn’t even know what our options
were? What am I doing here? I thought to
myself. What was I thinking when I
accepted this job and got on the plane?
Oh how I missed my mother’s cooking.
“At least there are pictures,” Steve
smiled, looking at the half a dozen pictures decorating the menu that really
could have been anything. “I think I’ll
have this one,” he pointed to a bowl filled with what looked like a variety of
vegetables and some beef. Since none of
the pictures looked terribly appetizing, when the woman returned to take our
order I pointed to the same picture. How
bad could it be? I tried to convince myself it might not be terrible. I loved vegetables and I could always scrape
off the beef.
“What do you think of Korea so far?”
Steve dared to ask, sitting back in his chair and sipping a glass of water.
“I don’t know,” I didn’t want to say
anything I might regret. “Ask me again
when I’m not so hungry and tired.”
“Things will fall into place once we
start teaching,” he assured me. But I
lacked his confidence. After all, he wanted to be a teacher. It’s why he went to school. I had little
interest in the teaching part of this adventure. Sure I liked kids but teaching I didn’t think
was for me.
“I hope so,” I said, hoping I didn’t
sound as pessimistic as I felt.
The woman returned with small bowl
of green leafy stuff soaked in a red liquid that smelled like it was rotting. I wrinkled my nose, trying not to convey my
disgust, but I’m sure I wasn’t successful. “Just try it,” Steve commanded, picking up a
silver pair of chopsticks. He held them
over the bowl and carefully peeled off a layer.
Placing the food in his mouth he chewed, calmly at first. The suddenly tears leapt into his eyes and
lunged for a glass of water. Swallowing
the rest of the glass in one gulp he got up, located the water cooler and
refilled his glass.
“That good,” I smirked.
“It’s actually not bad. I just wasn’t expecting it to be spicy.” But he would have said that anyway, that was
just his way. “Try it,” he repeated, but
less forcefully.
Tentatively, very tentatively, I
picked up the chopsticks and said a silent thank you to Brian, my high school
boyfriend, who taught me to use chopsticks.
When I was fifteen he had invited me over for dinner and his parents had
ordered Chinese food. Sitting down to eat, he told me I could eat as much as I
wanted on the condition that I used chopsticks.
I had never used them before and didn’t have the slightest idea of how
they worked. But Brian gave me a quick
lesson and since I love food, it wasn’t long until I could navigate the food to
my mouth. It might not have been
graceful, but by the end of the meal, I could get the sticks to move roughly as
I desired. I may not have been able to
read, but at least I could eat, if I ever got any food that was remotely
appealing.
Reaching out the chopsticks, I
grabbed the smallest leafy piece I could find and popped it into my mouth. Yuck.
It tasted worse than it smelled.
How could people eat this? It was
absolutely repulsive. (First impressions
however don’t always last, and for fear that I might offend someone, I’ll jump
ahead several months and say that I eventually came to love Kimchi. There are days here in the States that I
crave it desperately, and when I’m at a Korean restaurant now I always ask for
more.) Swallowing hard without properly
chewing, I put my chopsticks down, praying that dinner would taste better.
Shortly afterwards, the woman
carried a tray towards our table. She
placed a small metal bowl of warm rice in front of me and another in front of Steve. Then she handed each of us a large cold metal
bowl full of vegetables, chopped beef and a fried egg. I looked at Steve and he looked at me. I took a deep breath, tried not to think
about what my mother had cooked that night for dinner and picked up my chopsticks. I couldn’t identify half the vegetables in my
bowl, and I tried not to think about what they were. Slowly we ate, picking up one vegetable at a
time until the woman came rushing back to us, scolding us with words we could
not understand and a face that clearly indicated we had somehow done something
gravely wrong. Working quickly, she
dumped Steve’s rice into his vegetable bowl and then did the same to mine. She then reached for spoonful of red paste
and plopped a dollop into each bowl, stirring vigorously. Completing her task, she left us alone. I looked down at my bowl and suddenly felt ill. Inside the bowl was a giant red sticky repulsive
mess. My appetite completely left
me. I can’t eat this, I said to myself
as I reached for a spoon and forced myself to take a bit. Despite the fact that the red sauce was spicy,
I had to admit that the food was tolerable.
The taste was different, but it wasn’t a bad difference, perhaps it
would just take a little getting used to.
Feeling a little better, I sat back and eased into my dinner.
No, maybe I didn’t love the food,
but I wouldn’t starve. At least that was
something to hold onto for the moment, something to get me through until
tomorrow because I did not have a crystal ball.
I did not have any way of knowing how thoroughly I was going to fall in
love with Korean food (there are exceptions of course – dog, squid and silk
worm larva) or how much I would miss it when I returned to the States. Funny how things that don’t seem so appealing
at first become things we aren’t sure we can live without. If I had to write out a list of my top ten
favorite dishes of all time, I’m fairly certain bibimbap would be on it.
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