My throat
is sore from screaming. If you want to
know what it is like to feel ignored try coaching teeball. I know the kids aren’t really ignoring me,
they just aren’t interested in what I have to say, which from where I’m
standing – somewhere between first and second base – is exactly the same
thing. The players – four and five year
olds – are adorable dressed in clothes so big they hang off them. But as a coach, I can’t just watch and enjoy
the precious moments as the kids feel their way around the field. There is a sense of responsibility. True, all games end in a tie and no records
are kept but in some ways the expectations for a teeball coach – safety and fun
- are more important. I want the kids to
have fun and it breaks my heart when they look bored or worse, scared. There is one little boy on my team who cries
every time he walks onto the field and every time he gets up to bat. I have done everything I can to try to make
him feel safe and to try to remove any pressure he might feel, but my little
pep talks and high fives don’t seem to help much.
Another little boy stands out in
the field telling everyone who will listen that he is bored. Last night, while playing in the infield, he
turned to me, which meant his back was to the batter, and said, “This is so
boring.” As the words reached my ears,
the batter hit the ball right to that little boy. Since his attention was diverted - focused on
his boredom instead of the ball - he completely missed the ball that trickled
less than six inches from his foot.
Another player raced to pick it up as he said to me, “There’s nothing to
do here. I want to go home.” I sighed in
exasperation then tried very patiently to explain that if he hadn’t been so
conscious of being bored he might have seen the ball and in catching it and
throwing it to first he would have experienced a moment of excitement. But alas, the lesson was lost on him and looking
away from me, he turned his attention to the dirt on the field instead of the
next batter. (Come to think of it, there
is a great life lesson in this for all of us.
Boredom is nothing more than a state of mind that blinds us to the exciting
realities that surround us continuously.)
The two
oldest players on my team are six. Don’t ever let anyone tell you there isn’t a
big difference between four and six year olds.
Two years might not seem like a lot, but developmentally there is a huge
difference both physically and mentally.
Four year olds have less of an attention span and they aren’t as
strong. They also haven’t been playing
as long which contributes to inequality on the field. While my four year old players are crying and
playing with dirt, my six year old players are running after every ball
regardless of where it is hit and on occasion pushing the smaller players out
of the way. I have spoken to the older
children, but their greater attention span, interest, strength and speed combine
until they are dominating the game in a way that makes it unfair and much less
fun for the younger children. Yes, it
might take longer for the little ones to get to the ball. It may take longer
for them to throw it. But really why does
that matter since the batter isn’t supposed to run more than one base at a time
anyway? It would certainly be less “boring” if the little ones didn’t
continuously feel compelled to give up because they are constantly being outraced
by an older teammate
I spend my entire time out in the
field yelling so that I can be heard, but I’m beginning to wonder why I bother
since no one wishes to listen. Last
night, as every batter approached the tee I called out, “Orioles, eyes on the
ball. Everyone, keep your eyes on the ball so that you don’t get hurt once it
is hit.” Then the batter would make
contact with the ball and I’d scream the name of the child who should charge
after it. Most of the time it was one of
the younger kids who were preoccupied and by the time they realized what I was
saying and what was happening one of the older kids was chasing the ball. I would then scream for the older kids to back
off a bit, so they didn’t tread on the younger players’ territory but they were
too anxious, ambitious and excited and didn’t listen. The little ones would run until they realized
they had no chance of getting to the ball first, and then their shoulders would
sag and they’d stop running altogether.
It broke my heart. Next game I’ll
have try different tactics to keep the older kids from dominating so that the
younger ones see and experience more action and success.
At one
point, a ball was hit directly to my four year old son. He put his glove down and when the ball
rolled right into it he was so surprised he stared at it in amazement for a
good several seconds until I screamed for him to throw it to first. He took a running start, very deliberately planted
his right foot, took a giant step forward with his left and heaved the ball to
first. The runner was long since safe on
the base but when I clapped and cheered my son smiled broadly, gave me a thumps
up and then did a little shuffle dance on the grass. For me, it was the highlight of the entire game.
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